TORONTO (Oct. 2) — Here’s hoping that Baroness Rogers is keeping close watch on husband, Ed the Conqueror. A couple of notifications from One Mount Pleasant Road suggested that Edward may have contracted an illness. First, it was announced that 500 free tickets will be distributed to baseball fans for the upcoming playoff games of the Toronto Blue Jays. Then, we were told that Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment will honor legendary hockey broadcaster Joe Bowen with a tribute prior to a home game against Chicago on Dec. 16. If the Conqueror doesn’t have a high fever, then some form of delirium is spreading through his mansion. This is the first time, to my knowledge, the word “free” has ever emanated from the walls of the Rogers empire. Employees are strictly prohibited to even consider the concept of something offered for nothing. Which indicates there is more to the bevevolence than meets the eye. And, while the celebration of Bowen’s 44–year career as voice of the Leafs will be a grand occasion, it is obliterated by MLSE’s deplorable choice to once again confine Bowen and broadcast partner Jim Ralph to a TV monitor in a dark studio for Leaf road games. During this, Joe’s retirement season.

In the event the public were to embrace the wrong idea, the announcement of the 500 free baseball tickets was nowhere to be found on the Sportsnet website as of early this evening. For those unaware, Ed the Conqueror owns 100 percent of the all–sports TV network and its celebrated ball club. Even the Toronto Sun, which had earlier featured a story on the giveaway, buried it elsewhere. Likely out of bewilderment and shock. Not so at the Toronto Star, with an article by sports writer Gilbert Ngabo. “Everyone can feel the buzz of post–season baseball across Canada,” Terrie Tweddle, Rogers’ chief brand and communications officer, said in a release. “As proud owners of the Toronto Blue Jays, we want to give even more fans and customers a chance to experience the excitement firsthand.” Tweddle, of course, did not explain why Rogers had the audacity to charge $10 for “customers” to enter the Dome on Wednesday and watch a Blue Jays intrasquad game. Evidently, the lower bowl was quite full. Once Benevolent Ed emerges from his medical torpor, the playoff indulgence may not actually transpire.

“Five hundred free tickets?! To each game?! That will demolish our company’s profit margin! It’s blasphemy.”

The Baroness’s ears must be ringing by now. Someone at the empire will pay for concocting such an idea.

I’m told the back–up plan involves crowding the upper–three floors of a condo building that overlooks right field.

Without permission granted by the owners or landlords.

“Yessir,” as former Blue Jays radio voice Jerry Howarth would exclaim, “this could get mighty interesting.”

As it pertains to accessories for Bowen’s tribute at Scotiabank Arena, a board meeting is scheduled next week at One Mount Pleasant to discuss budget. I’m told that Ed and his shadow, Tony Staffieri, are “on the fence” over a large cake ordered from Loblaws’ bakery. “Too many layers!” the Conqueror thundered when told of the order. “Take it easy, Ed,” replied Staffieri. “The grocery store said that everything is negotiable. We still have lots of time.”

If the bartering is unfruitful, ice cream and sprinkles could be served at center–ice.

Which is far cheaper than cake–batter and icing… or, naturally, airfare and hotel for Maple Leafs road games.

THIRTY YEARS SINCE “THE VERDICT”

And, I ask again: Where does time go? I can still remember, as if yesterday, watching CNN on the morning of Oct. 3, 1995 as a harebrained jury acquitted the late O.J. Simpson of butchering his ex–wife, Nicole, and Nicole’s friend, Ron Goldman. That Simpson’s blood was all over the murder scene and his residence at nearby Rockingham Ave. — DNA samples indicating that no person on the planet other than the former football star could match the forensic evidence — the jury still found him “not guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.” Once members of the 12–person panel were interviewed on TV, it became obvious that some (not all) possessed a Grade school education.

To them, DNA stood for “Does Not Assimilate.”

In any event, the Trial of the Century wrapped up 30 years ago Friday. Much of the civilized world paused in mid–morning while the verdict was read on live television. Simpson and his minions then made a bee–line to Rockingham for a grand celebration. The decomposed bodies of his children’s mother and her thoughtful friend were a distant memory. It still ranks among the saddest moments in modern American history. My then–in laws, Peter and Maxine Straus, kept for me the front section of the Los Angeles Times during the eight–month ordeal (they still live in the San Fernando Valley). Including the issue (above and below) of Oct. 4, a day after the verdict.   

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