TORONTO (Apr. 2) — Our city, not surprisingly, is becoming the most–assinine hockey locale on the planet. Which kind of follows, with a near–60–year drought from appearing in the Stanley Cup final. In lieu of contention, a host of goofy catch–phrases have materialized in recent years: “run it back”… “all in”… and, now, “retool or rebuild.” The former should not be a problem as Scotiabank Arena is evidently home to a number of “tools.” At least, as it pertains to decisions impacting the Toronto Maple Leafs. While the rest of the hockey world laughs at the bungling of the Blue and White, the tall foreheads at 60 Bay St. plan strategy for whichever puppet they choose to replace Brad Treliving. That’s how it works at Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment. The hockey geniuses at the corporate level form the blueprint. Then, they appoint a hapless soul to implement their wizardry and fix the problem. That the problem never goes away tells you most about the company that owns and operates the Leafs.

This week, it was Chief Executive Officer Keith Pelley insisting on a “data–centric” person to assume the “managerial” role. Which completely made sense given that no portion of “data” — however large or small — can measure the most–integral component of Stanley Cup success: that which lays beneath the chest wall. It’s been the Leafs’ way throughout the Core–4 era. Rather than telling reporters “we will look for a hockey person that, above all, understands and appreciates the emotion of the game. With, obviously, knowledge of data and hockey analytics. But, not totally relying on them. Talent, alone, hasn’t provided us results. We need to chart a different course.”

Can you imagine how refreshing that would have sounded to the tormented occupants of Leafs Nation? After watching this vortex of insanity for the better part of a decade? But, no. The corporate boys want the same rot to fester; seeking a “re–tool” and clearly not comprehending the simple fact that such a strategy has occurred during every Maple Leafs off–season in this hollow decade. What else has management done while maintaining the flawed nucleus of Auston Matthews, William Nylander, John Tavares (who is guilty by association) and Morgan Rielly? With Mitch Marner aboard until this season? The answer is simple: re–arranging deck chairs with the comparative schleppers they acquire each summer. In other words, “re–tooling”. How else can it be properly phrased?

Just think of the jersey fillers during the Matthews era. Among them, Kasperi Kapanen, Andreas Johnsson, Tyler Ennis, Frederik Gauthier, Nikita Zaitzev, Par Lindholm, Igor Ohziganov, Pierre Engvall, Ilya Mikheyev, Alexander Kerfoot, David Kampf, Ondrej Kase, Zach Aston–Reese, Pontus Holmberg, Noah Gregor. All of whom appeared in a minimum 50 games during a season. All of whom were replaceable and interchangeable. All who existed in the long shadows of the Core–4. And, absolutely none who could help the Leafs, even remotely, when it mattered.

That, folks, is what you’re going to get more of, providing MLSE can locate the appropriate “yes” man. Pelley made it clear on Tuesday that he’ll be running the team, alongside such noted hockey experts as Ed the Conqueror and Tony Staffieri. Perhaps Treliving stopped saying “whatever you wish” too soon, or was simply not a good–enough “yes” man. Bottom line, he was MLSE’s choice to follow Kyle Dubas. Earlier today, Donald Trump fired Pam Bondi because he felt she was no longer an effective surrogate. Never mind that Bondi should have been serving the American people rather than fellating her boss, but that’s the way it works in the Trump White House. So, too, should a manager serve the legitimate concerns of the Leafs; not the inflated egos in ownership.

If Pelley was speaking aboveboard, there is no chance for MLSE to procure the Hunter brothers in London. Both played the game with guts and determination; Dale with more skill than Mark, but cut from the same cloth. Neither would consider coming here and having to bow to Pelley on hockey matters. Elliotte Friedman mentioned after Treliving was let go that candidates are “lining up around the block” for the Toronto GM role. The vast majority of whom are likely out of work and would accept the MLSE job under any circumstance. As Treliving clearly did. Why would autonomous and accomplished executives like Doug Armstrong (St. Louis) or Jim Nill (Dallas) acquiesce so such a position? Were MLSE interested in a re–“build”, it would pursue a top–flight hockey man. Because that would reap what the club truly requires: an experienced, ballsy person to break up the spring–time ballerinas by attempting to trade at least one of Matthews or Nylander, while wishing Rielly good health for the rest of his life.

No “puppet” would dare to even suggest such a plan to Ed the Conqueror and Pelley.

As such, get ready — Leafs fans — for yet another rinse and repeat. The tool box is full.

SPORTSNET RECOGNIZES ITS FOLLY

Sportsnet posted an absurd headline (above) to a website–video on Wednesday, highlighting the peril of an established sports network feeling beholden to the professional team that owns it. I’ve written numerous times about this baneful conflict–of–interest… and here was a prime example. When did the Core–4 Leafs contend for anything, let alone the Stanley Cup? Apologists and dreamers repeatedly point to the club extending eventual–champion Florida to a seventh game last May. An accomplishment obliterated by the disgraceful performances on home ice in Games 5 and 7; each a 6–1 pasting by the Panthers. So, please spare us the “Leafs in contention” malarkey. I noticed that Sportsnet took down the silly headline later in the afternoon.

It was “replaced” today by a far–more reasonable query (below).

PAT QUINN / BOBBY ORR / FORBES KENNEDY ANNIVERSARY

 
They wanted to kill Pat Quinn at the Boston Garden 57 years ago tonight. How that simply rolls off the tongue is anyone’s guess. Particularly for someone as yours truly, who remembers scurrying repeatedly from his Passover seder on Apr. 2, 1969 every time another melee broke out. “They’re fighting again!” someone would yell, prompting a stampede to the TV from the table. It was the night (as per these images) that Quinn caught Bobby Orr with either a perfect or felonious body check along the boards, inside the Boston blue line. The greatest player in hockey annals laid on his back; unconscious. Quinn (bottom–left) watched the proceedings as teammates and doctors went to Orr’s aid. When he entered the penalty box for a five–minute elbowing sentence (from referee John Ashley), the fans at the Garden rushed toward him, prompting his teammates to converge near the scene (right). With the abominable Leafs losing, 10–0, in the third period, Punch Imlach sent Forbes Kennedy over the boards to raise hell. The veteran scrapper did just that — taking on half the Bruins team and punching linesman George Ashley to the ice. It was the final game of Kennedy’s NHL career. The Leafs were swept by Boston and Imlach was fired by owner Stafford Smythe immediately after Game 4 at Maple Leaf Gardens.

 
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