TORONTO (Sep. 15) — This should come as no surprise to any person that follows the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Unless there’s a change of heart in the next month, veteran radio broadcasters Joe Bowen and Jim Ralph will be relegated to a darkened studio, once more, when the club plays on the road. Calling games off a TV monitor. Which presupposes, of course, that the not–so–dynamic duo at Rogers — Ed the Conqueror and Tony Staffieri — possess a heart. There’s no evidence of such in their incessant price–gouging of loyal and hapless fans of the hockey club. But, I thought, maybe… just maybe… the Conqueror and his sidekick might dip into the petty cash bowl at 1 Mount Pleasant Rd. to honor the person who has called more Maple Leaf games than anyone in history.

Fat friggin’ chance of that.

In mid–June, after the Maple Leafs had been embarrassed by Florida in Games 5 and 7 of their second–round playoff series, Bowen announced the coming season would be his last. Joe started with the Leafs on Oct. 6, 1982 at the old Chicago Stadium. Though original Leafs broadcaster, Foster Hewitt, persisted for more than 50 years, Bowen has called many more games; the National Hockey League schedule much longer than the 45 to 70–game seasons during Hewitt’s prime. Bowen passed the 3,800–game mark last season. His patented expression after a Toronto goal — “Holy Mackinaw!” — and his nearly decade–long term calling midweek Leafs games on Global TV with Harry Neale in the 90’s, enhanced Joe’s popularity. He has been, for many years, a legend in his own time.

How much of a financial strain would Rogers endure by allowing Bowen and long–time partner, Jim Ralph, to go out with a blaze of glory by attending every match this season, home and away? The question, of course, is rhetorical… gusting toward ridiculous. Ed the Conqueror’s unprecedented monopoly over all Toronto sports teams (he controls 75% of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, owning the Leafs, Raptors, Blue Jays, Argonauts, Marlies and Toronto F.C.), which costs and provides him pennies on the dollar compared to his wireless/Internet empire, would easily allow for a “budget” to staff all Leaf games in Bowen’s final season. But, Ed and Tony have no sense of occasion, nostalgia or propriety. Every decision, down to the last nickel, is motivated by finance. God forbid the company’s profit margin should shrink by 00000.1%. It’s a disgusting, deplorable way to treat a Hall–of–Fame broadcaster that has meant so much to the Leafs and their fans for the past 43 years. Yet, fully expected.

And, this isn’t to overlook ol’ Ralphie, who has been Bowen’s broadcast partner for 28 years — many times more than Joe’s previous, well–known sidekicks such as Bill Watters and Gord Stellick. Jim, too, deserves some honor.

Only once, after being thoroughly embarrassed by their frugality, did Rogers open the wallet for Bowen and Ralph.

It occurred, famously, after Bowen misidentified the player that eliminated Tampa Bay in the opening round of the 2023 Stanley Cup playoffs. Why? Because the TV camera at Amalie Arena immediately focused on defenseman Morgan Rielly, rather than John Tavares, whose low volley from the slot fooled Andrei Vasilevskiy in the Lightning cage. It was the first playoff–round triumph for the Maple Leafs in 19 years. And, Bowen, trapped in a Toronto studio, exclaimed to his radio audience that Rielly — who performed exceptionally in the series — had sent the Leafs on to the Atlantic Division final. How could he have believed otherwise with a TV shot of the defenceman joining his euphoric teammates near center ice? When the news of Bowen’s “gaffe” became international, the narcissistic gurus at Sportsnet opted for self–preservation. Funds were somehow located for Joe and Jim to be on hand, in Sunrise, Fla., for the next round. The Leafs were jettisoned in five games by the Panthers… and the extravagent financial trait ended just as promptly. Bowen and Ralph were back in their TV nest for road games last season.

Spending practices at the company are puzzling.

Tens of thousands are budgeted each year for rabid Maple Leafs supporter, Luke Fox, to be at every game, home and away, for the Sportsnet.ca website. What is more difficult? Fox sitting at home — as, nearly always, are newspaper beat–reporters with the Leafs on the road — and providing post–game recap/opinion with quotes culled from wire services? Or, Bowen and Ralph having to call games in real time with their field of vision narrowed; dictated by someone randomly switching TV cameras in a mobile truck? Again, the query is nonsensical.

But, none of this matters at the Ed and Tony Show.

It’s cheaper to send one guy on the road than two.

I mentioned this, not jokingly, last April, when the skinflints at Rogers kept Joe and Jim at home during the playoffs. And, I triple–down on it today. My clamorous wish would be for Bowen to call a sudden press conference hours before the Leafs season opener (Oct. 8 at home to Montreal) and tell Ed the Conqueror to shove the radio gig so far up his backside that he could taste it. Not that it would matter to the Donald Trump acolyte. Ed’s company would switch to something patently stupid… like simulcasting games off TV. But, the message would be loud and clear for all of Leafs Nation, undoubtedly spawning days worth of vitriol. Sadly, Joe has too much class to follow through on the idea. So, he’ll spend the final season of his unprecedented Leafs career locked in a dark studio for road games, yet again, next to Jim Ralph. There is no conscience whatsover at Mount Pleasant and Bloor.

That, you already knew.

SOMEHOW, THE ARGOS BEAT THE ELKS

I have watched the Canadian Football League religiously since the early 1970’s… and I still do not know how the Toronto Argonauts prevailed in their home game, Saturday afternoon, against the Edmonton Elks. All I can tell you, for certain, is the slim playoff hopes for the Boatmen would have been extinguished without the dramatic, last–play triumph. A dreadful first half of play calling by head coach Ryan Dinwiddie — to his credit, Ryan admitted so afterward — nearly saw the Argos blanked on the scoreboard. Twice, on third–and–short gambles, Ryan had quarterback Nick Arbuckle hand off the ball from the shotgun formation. Twice, predictably, running back Spencer Brown was stuffed. On the second attempt, the Argos needed six inches for a first down. Still, the offense failed.

It required a defensive touchdown, late in the fourth quarter, for the home team to compensate. Elks quarterback Cody Fajardo was stripped of the ball and Toronto behemoth, Andrew Chatfield Jr., scooped it up for a 10–yard score, delighting the crowd at BMO Field. With only 1:14 left on the clock, Vince Blanchard kicked a 31–yard field goal to put Edmonton ahead, 30–28. It was a match the Argos could not afford to lose. Third–string quarterback Jarret Doege (pronounced “Dagee”) replaced Arbuckle, who left with a calf injury. Doege showed remarkable poise, hitting Dejon Brissett for a pass that set up Lirim Hajrullahu for a difficult, 48–yard kick to win the game.

Hajrullahu came though with zeroes on the clock. The Argonauts escaped, 31–30.

I was at the game with my son, Shane, and my trusky NIKON:

VINCE BLANCHARD KICKED THIS 31–YARD FIELD GOAL WITH JUST 1:14 LEFT ON THE CLOCK AND IT APPEARED THE ELKS WOULD LEAVE BMO FIELD WITH THEIR FOURTH STRAIGHT VICTORY.

 
ARGOS QUARTERBACK NICK ARBUCKLE INJURED A CALF–MUSCLE IN THE FOURTH QUARTER AND COULD NOT CONTINUE. HE HAD PERFORMED INEFFICIENTLY, TOSSING FOUR INTERCEPTIONS.

BACK–UP PIVOT JARRET DOEGE (7) CAME ON FOR THE FINAL TWO OFFENSIVE SERIES.

 
THE ELKS HAD LED FOR MOST OF THE AFTERNOON AND LIKELY COULDN’T IMAGINE THE SUN SETTING ON A ROAD DEFEAT, ESPECIALLY AFTER BLANCHARD’S LATE THREE–POINTER.

 
BUT, LIRIM HAJRULLAHU GOT A FINAL CHANCE… AND THE HOME TEAM ESCAPED BY ONE POINT.

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