TORONTO (Dec. 14) — Honest to God, what could he say?

For one of the few times in his career with the Maple Leafs, Auston Matthews chose to make himself uvavailable to reporters on Saturday night. After making himself unavailable for the entirety of a 6–3 bludgeoning by the Edmonton Oilers at Scotiabank Arena. I mentioned it on Twitter immediately after the game: Fans of the Maple Leafs had better pray that Matthews is injured. Once more. If the captain is relatively unscathed, as he recently claimed, the Leafs are in their biggest crisis since the Harold Ballard era. The alarming and utter no–show by Matthews against Connor McDavid, Leon Draisaitl and the Oilers offered up the regular season version of Games 5 and 7 of the Eastern Conference semifinal, last May, against Florida. In none of the three encounters did Matthews exert enough energy to make himself visible. He would have accomplished more by sitting out the matches. Auston’s annual injury excuse in the playoffs was again swallowed whole by the Toronto media after the humiliation against Florida. “Too many passengers,” the captain moaned, refusing to clarity if he included himself.

Still completely unanswered is the miracle of Matthews pausing his season–long ailment to perform at a near–MVP level for the United States in the Four Nations tournament. Only to take sick again in two of the final three games of the Florida series. We’ve all heard of “selective hearing” but few know anything about “selective malaise.” Of which, Matthews recently insisted, was no longer a factor in his play. How, then, can we explain such an horrific effort and performance against the Oilers on Saturday? If it wasn’t injury related, then Auston has thrown in the towel on the Leafs. He just doesn’t care anymore and clearly chose to not waste his time trying to compete against McDavid and Draisaitl, each of whom toyed with the Blue and White. Some may ask “how can Matthews perform so ineffectively during a Saturday night home game against two of the top five players in the world? Televised to most of the country on Hockey Night In Canada.” The easy answer came with Craig Berube’s mournful plea, afterward, for his “leaders” to step up in big, emotional games. Every media site headlined its Leafs story (as pictured, below) with the term. But, no mystery was in play. Anyone with half an objective brain understands there are no leaders on the Maple Leafs. Never have been during the fruitless Core–4 era. And, never will be until Matthews and William Nylander join Mitch Marner toiling elsewhere. Berube might as well have requested political decorum from Donald Trump. There’s more of a chance for that than for any of his gazillionaires in blue and white to show up in a heightened circumstance. The coach and general manager are immaterial. As I’ve written here repeatedly since 2021, the Leafs are entirely rudderless on the ice during Stanley Cup play. And, often, during regular–season games that matter, emotionally. Talented enough, yes, to squeak out a couple of first–round eliminations but lacking the character and disposition to challenge for the National Hockey League title.

Matthews proved again, on Saturday, how minuscule he truly is.

 
A singular lack of effort at both ends of the ice was astounding… even by his puny standards. Against the two–time Western Conference champion; also a Canadian–based team. I bought a pair of tickets off SeatGeek for my kids, Shane and Lauren (it was Shane’s 29th birthday last weekend). Cost me a mere $688.00, which got me off cheap compared to other secondary ticket sites. McDavid and Draisaitl made absolute fools of the Maple Leafs, with no evidence of No. 34 at any point in the match. It was pathetic to witness how Morgan Rielly casually stepped aside and watched McDavid easily waltz past him for the opening goal. But, if Matthews has deteriorated into such a blithe, cavalier figure, the Leafs are completely doomed. His situation will end messily — and in crisis — as have virtually all relationships between the Leafs and their most–gifted players through the years.

Management will either badger Auston’s agent for a reasonable list of trade destinations… or, more than likely, Matthews will quit and ask out of town. Just as he quit on the team Saturday night… and during the comical Games 5 and 7 last spring against the Panthers. Any person still anticipating that Matthews will suddenly rise up and become another Doug Gilmour is not thinking straight. Hasn’t been, quite frankly, for half a decade. There is no drive in No. 34. He doesn’t seem to care about winning high–leverage hockey games. Instead, a willingness to stay in the shadows when the lights turn bright will be his epitaph with the Maple Leafs. All talent, no substance; urgency and plain, goddamned pride hardly ever noticeable. All of it for an absurd $13.25 million per season.

Saturday night was an total embarrassment for Matthews and the Leafs.

No wonder he ducked reporters afterward.

Toronto management has unwittingly proven what any grade–schooler should know: It isn’t possible to reverse nonchalance by stitching a letter to the front of a hockey jersey. As did the silly Leafs when transfering the captaincy from John Tavares to Matthews. Neither can a person be taught how to score goals; to write proficiently; to take apart the guts of an automobile and put it back together. These are qualities that evolve from birth. So, why did the Maple Leafs think Matthews would be imbued by adding the ‘C’ to his uniform? And, how much longer will Berube wonder aloud about the leadership on his hockey club before recognizing that it simply does not exist?

AND, THE GOALTENDING LIST CONTINUES TO GROW…

Artur Akhtymanov, on Saturday night, finished the game for Dennis Hildeby and became the 82nd man to tend goal for the Maple Leafs since the club’s last Stanley Cup triumph (May 2, 1967). Here is the chronological order, beginning on Oct. 14, 1967. How many names do you recall?

JOHNNY BOWER, BRUCE GAMBLE, AL SMITH, MARV EDWARDS, GERRY McNAMARA, JACQUES PLANTE, BERNIE PARENT, MURRAY McLACHLAN, GORD McRAE, RON LOW, DOUG FAVELL, DUNC WILSON, EDDIE JOHNSTON, PIERRE HAMEL, WAYNE THOMAS,  MIKE PALMATEER, PAUL HARRISON, JIRI CRHA, CURT RIDLEY, VINCENT TREMBLAY, JIM RUTHERFORD, MICHEL (BUNNY) LAROCQUE, BOB PARENT, RICK ST. CROIX, ALLAN BESTER, KEN WREGGET, BRUCE DOWIE, TIM BERNHARDT, DON EDWARDS, JEFF REESE, MARK LaFOREST, PETER ING, DAMIAN RHODES, GRANT FUHR, FELIX POTVIN, RICK WAMSLEY, DARREN PUPPA, DON BEAUPRE, MARCEL COUSINEAU, GLENN HEALY, CURTIS JOSEPH, COREY SCHWAB, TOM BARRASSO, SEBASTIEN CENTOMO, ED BELFOUR, MIKAEL TELLQVIST, TREVOR KIDD, JEAN-SEBASTIAN AUBIN, ANDREW RAYCROFT, SCOTT CLEMMENSEN, VESA TOSKALA, MARTIN GERBER, JUSTIN POGGE, JEAN-SEBASTIEN GIGUERE, JONAS GUSTAVSSON, JOEY MacDONALD, JAMES REIMER, BEN SCRIVENS, JUSSI RYNNAS, JONATHAN BERNIER, DREW MacINTYRE, GARRET SPARKS, FREDERIK ANDERSEN, JHONAS ENROTH, ANTOINE BIBEAU, CURTIS McELHINNEY, CALVIN PICKARD, MICHAEL HUTCHINSON, KASIMIR KASKISUO, JACK CAMPBELL, DAVID RITTICH, PETER MRAZEK, JOSEPH WOLL, ERIK KALLGREN, MATT MURRAY, ILYA SAMSONOV, JETT ALEXANDER, MARTIN JONES, ANTHONY STOLARZ, DENNIS HILDEBY, CAYDEN PRIMEAU, ARTUR AKHTYAMOV.

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